How I Met My Lovely

It has been a long time since I've posted a blog.  To say that the time that has elapsed since my last post has been tumultuous is an understatement of elephantine proportions.  I will not here recount the events as most of you are familiar with them and this is a blog with the singular purpose of being funny and too be honest there was very little funny during that time.

Well, that is enough of that.

My real purpose in once again putting pen to paper (electronically speaking) is that I would like to tell you about this incredible woman I know.

It all started about 15 years ago (don't worry I won't bore you with all of the details).  I was in my dorm room with one of my roommates.  There was an enormous field just outside of my window where we would often play volleyball. It was affectionately dubbed "the bombsite" although exactly why I can't recall but I do know that there was a rather large tree in the center of it.  On this particular day there was a beautiful young lady resting in it's shade as she tried to studiously do some homework.  As college boys are want to do we noticed her and through the course of some sophomoric conversation my roommate bet me $5.00 to go and flirt with her for 10 minutes.  Those of you who know me know that I have never really been shy when it comes to talking to people I don't really know and that I was always extremely broke in college. This would prove to be the most profitable bet I've ever made.

Armed with my (not so) considerable charm I marched out into the bombsite and introduced myself.  Now it is important to note that we had met before-on two separate occasions.  The very first time was when we were both still in High School.  We had come to college days from different groups and were on the same team.  In the course of that week I did one of the most humiliating things and can assure you that the impression I left could only have been that I was a clown! On our second meeting I made the mistake of insulting a guy she liked.  So now not only am I a clown, I'm also a big fat jerk.

We did have a third meeting which almost put a nail in the coffin of our relationship before it even had a chance to live.  Due to an alphabetical arrangement in a class room that started from the back right section with the "A's" came to the front and proceeded down the left section finishing up with the "Z's" in the back, we ended up sitting in the same row across the aisle from each other.  The name of the class, as I recall, was Church History.  I remember that I really didn't care for the book that was to be our chief text and as such formed an unfavorable opinion about the professor before I had even met him.  I had heard things about him and was just leaning over to make comical but insulting comment about him to this young lady who sat next to me.  Now we all have that little voice inside that warns us when we're about to do something monstrously stupid, saying, "I think this is a bad idea!".  I too have this voice.  However, that little voice inside me is often drowned out by a much louder more obnoxious voice screaming, "LET THE EIGHT YEAR OLD DRIVE!". Thankfully, on this day I heeded that small voice and kept my snide comments to myself.  A stroke of genius as it turns out as I was just about to lean over and insult my future father-in-law to his only daughter.  WOW! I dodged a bullet there!

Anyway, I sat down under the tree next to her and began to shamelessly flirt with her (don't judge me, I needed that five bucks!).  If I may make a long story short (and I realize it's a little late for that already), we ended up spending the next several hours talking and laughing and having one of the most enjoyable nights of my life.

Fast forward 15 years and you find us here.  Three beautiful children and a happy life.  I have broken her heart on several occasions but she has always shown an infinite amount of grace and long suffering.  On occasion I write her poems.  When we first started getting serious about marriage I wrote her several poems on the theme that she was the greatest gift God has ever given me.  I spoke the truth then and do know as I confess that there is not another woman out there who could love me the way she does and only God could have orchestrated this knowing exactly who and what I needed.  She is My Lovely and will always be.  She is the most wonderful woman I know and I love her.