My Cruising Musing: Day Three

Day Three:
Cabo San Lucas- We’ve arrived at our first port and we are excited to get off the ship and experience Mexico. We have a shore excursion planned but not until later, so we will be doing a bit of shopping first. Due to the shallow nature of the pier in Cabo the ship must dock off shore and we have to take tenders to the dock. If you’ve never experienced this, it is as much like a cattle call as I have ever seen- not that I’m a cowboy and have driven a herd across the prairie, but I have seen a few westerns and this has all the earmarks of a cattle drive. You have the cattle whose part is being played by all the cruise ship passengers grunting in protest and occasionally taking a swipe at their fellow cattle as they are herded down the passageways by the cowboys who are adorned in yellow t-shirts and blue wind-pants.
Once on land we made our way around the harbor to the shopping district. All along the way we were bombarded by people wanting us to ride in their water taxi or glass bottom boat. There were also plenty of vendors peddling their wares. Plenty of them were trying to sell wooden whistles that were shaped like turtles and painted in vibrant colors. The problem I had with this was that they would blow on a whistle to attract attention to themselves, but (and I watched carefully for this) they didn’t use one designated whistle. They would pick up any random whistle and blow into it. I have no desire to purchase a pre-blown whistle. While in town we scored some awesome souvenirs. My favorite was the Mexican style wrestling masks we picked up for my bros. in law and the one that looks just like Nacho Libre’s for my father in law. Can’t wait to see them don their masks and fly off the top rope.
We went on our shore excursion which was a coastal highlights tour. It was nice at first but it dragged on a little too long. We got to see Giorgio’s which is a beautiful restaurant situated on a bluff overlooking the cape of Saint Luke (Cabo San Lucas for all you non-Spanish speaking people). The view was gorgeous and well worth the price of the tour. We went to a glass factory where we saw a young man blow and mold hot glass into a sea turtle in just moments. My wife even got to serve as apprentice and blow a piece of hot glass into something that resembled Snoopy in a Picasso.
After this we took a 25 minute bus ride (the bus driver did an excellent job and I will allow him to come aboard and serve as my lifeboat pilot) to San Jose Los Cabos which you may recognize as the home of Speedy Gonzalez’s girlfriend, Rosita. Along the way several stars homes were pointed out to us. We saw Julia Roberts’ place, Sammy Haggar’s abode and a home that O.J. Simpson owned before he sold it and moved into the more secure community where he currently resides. This is where tour started to drag on and on. They dropped us off in a little Plaza that had more of an Ensenada feel than a Cabo feel to it. Its main claim to fame is a little mission which is most notable (it even has a mural over the front door depicting the event) for its founder being brutally slain by the Pericues Indians which he was trying to “convert” (which is apparently Spanish for forcing them to wear clothing and enslave them to work their gardens and build their missions). Great “highlight” Mexico! What- was the museum of the atrocities of the Spanish conquistadors closed for renovation?
After this we were all too happy to get back to our ship and relax. Before we could do that, we had to be subjected to a woman who, if called on to be such, was annoying enough to serve as the Devil’s mother in law and do justice to the title. Allow me to set the scene. We are standing in line to get back on a tender to return to our ship. There is a young couple in front of us and a Persian couple in front of them. The Persian man made the mistake of bumping or interrupting (I’m not quite sure how it went down) the woman in front of him who of course is Cruella De Vil to the infinite power. Instead of ignoring the slight like normal people, this woman went apocalyptic on this guy. She was so condescending and abrasive that everyone around them was embarrassed, including her grown son whom she repeatedly shushed and scolded for trying to rein her in. She lectured this couple on how in America we are known for being friendly and we are polite to one another and we just don’t go around interrupting anyone we want to without apologizing. As the hypocrisy oozed from her every pore, she continued all the way through the line (at least a 15 minute wait) and on to the tender where mercifully enough she was separated from the couple. I wanted to point out a couple of errors in her thinking. One, despite her assertion that we behave a certain way in America, we weren’t even in America so I’m not sure if the same rules apply across the board and I don’t know where she lives but we aren’t overly friendly and polite to one another. Two, her offense against this couple and everyone else in hearing distance was far more egregious than any offense they could have perpetrated on her. Not only will I exclude her from my life boat but I will offer her a life jacket with the foam floats replaced with lead bricks. To Davy Jones’ wit ye! My only fear is that you will think that I have embellished this story for humor’s sake. I have not! If anything I have failed to do it justice. It really was embarrassing!
Before dinner, we went to one of the ship’s song and dance shows. It was supposed to be a varied collection of music across the spectrum and for the most part it was. I am not offering a spot on my life raft to any of the singers and dancers, but I am especially excluding Reese. He was the one dancer whose moves were always less dramatic and about a half second behind everyone else’s. When they’d step, he’d kick. When he finally kicked, the rest of them would drop to the floor. When he finally got down, the rest of the cast had rolled across the floor and were back up on their feet kicking and stepping again. By the end of the show he was so far behind that the theater was completely empty before he finished his routine.
After Dinner we walked the promenade for a little bit and went to another show. This time it featured the Misfit of Comedy, Ed Alonzo. For those of you, who like me, recognize the name but can’t exactly place him, he is a comedian/magician and, at least to me, is most notable for his gripping and realistic portrayal of a diner owner in Saved By the Bell. I can’t remember if he was the original Max or the replacement Max but either way, he played the zany, magic trick performing owner that gave such sage advice to those poor young souls trying to find their way in the hardened atmosphere of Bayside High School. He was pretty good, had a couple of good tricks and told a few funny jokes-not lifeboat material, but pretty good.