My Cruising Musing: Day Four

Day Four:
We are now sitting at the dock in Mazatlan. It is far more like the Mexico that you think about when you think of Mexico. It isn’t a resort destination as much as it’s an industrial type city. The people here live much closer to the poverty level than their Cabo counterparts.
Our shore excursion for the day was a Mexican show/sightseeing and shopping adventure. We loaded on to a double decker bus with a guide who spoke marginal English (he was constantly asking the bus driver for the correct word to say, while the bus driver would give him the “can’t you see I am a bus driver and therefore I don’t need to know English” look). We watched some cliff divers do their thing and I watched as Nicole talked some vendor into giving us both a pair of sunglasses for less than half of what he originally asked. I am now the proud owner of some almost-ray bans.
After that we went to a little theater called El Spectaculare. It means “The Spectaculare”. Here we were treated to some chips and bean dip and a live Mexican dancing show. The show was a historical record of the different cultures of the Mexican Indians supposedly before the Europeans came in and ruined everything. It was entertaining, but not really my sort of thing. I think Nicole enjoyed it but it’s not like any of these people are getting on my life boat.
After the show we went to The Golden Zone. This is the place that supposedly will satisfy all of your shopping needs. I did find a ring that I liked. It resembled the one I purchased in Ensenada on my last cruise but which has recently broken. The guy told me that it cost $42 but that for me he would sell it for $35. I told him no and he wanted to know what I was willing to pay. I explained that I didn’t want to insult him because I wasn’t willing to pay more than $10. After dropping the price to 22, I told him no thanks and walked away. After walking along for 4-5 more minutes, he sent his kid to offer me the ring for $15. I told him $10 and he said $15 was reasonable. I told him $8 and was willing to walk away ring-less. He finally conceded $10 and I paid the boy and got my ring. I am sure I still paid more than I should have but I am happy.
Once our shopping trip was over, we returned to the ship. We had some lunch at the Johnny Rockets on board and went to play some ping pong on the sports deck. My wife beat me the first game 21-16 and insisted she was back and more than capable of dominating me at the sport that she had taught me how to play when we were in college. In a move that I can only assume was a desperate attempt at hold that win over my head for as long as possible, she tried to walk away after just one game. I insisted that we switch sides of the table and continue. I eventually won out but she jumped out to an early 15-6 lead before I stormed back and won 21-18. I have righted the ping pong universe.
Following dinner, we went to a Love and Marriage game show, which was basically a newly-wed game featuring a honeymooning couple, a couple who had been married for forty-seven years and a couple who had been married for 30 years. This was a hilarious game show as you may expect. At one point the contestants had to fill in the blank: “You haven’t seen ugly until you’ve seen my wife’s________.” The older gentleman showed that with age comes wisdom when he answered, “You haven’t seen ugly until you’ve seen my wife’s date book.” His reason for this answer was that it was a “safe” answer. When the cruise director read the honeymooners answer he read, “You haven’t seen ugly until you’ve seen my wife’s family. The entire crowd roared and the wife feigned ire. As it turns out, the cruise director made that answer up-the man had actually answered “feet”. The best answer was by the 30 year couple on the last question. The question was: If you’re husband was stranded on a desert island with one other person who would you want it to be, a nun or a stripper and why? The wife answered a nun and her explanation was simply “why do you think?” The Husband’s answer was stripper, but not for the obvious reason. He said and I quote, “Who’s going to try to rescue a nun?”
Right before the show started there were some obnoxious people who were trying to get on the show so they just walked themselves up on stage and sat in the chairs. When the stage hand came out to tell them to leave, they gave him a hard time. When it came time to pick the contestants, they claimed they were honeymooners than they claimed they had been married for 26 years. At one point, the cruise director was calling them out. You have to be pretty obnoxious if the cruise director is against you. Somehow these two morons and their friends managed to unite an entire ship of 3,500 people from different countries and cultures in hatred. They are definitely not on my life boat and I will see to it that they don’t get on anyone else’s as well.
The final event of the night was the Midnight Buffet. Traditionally a culinary parade of food and ice sculptures, this looked more like a Hometown Buffet. I was very disappointed. There were a couple of ice sculptures but it was anybody’s guess as to what they were. So despite an otherwise wonderful dining experience this week, I will be forcing the kitchen staff (except our personal wait staff: Komang from Indonesia and Soccoro from India) to remain with the ship. At least the entire ship of fools remaining will have a lovely last meal.