My Cruising Musing: Day Five

Day Five:
We were up early and out on the dock of Puerto Vallarta by 8:30 am. We walked over to a waiting area where we awaited our sail boat to come and sweep us away to our Banderas Bay excursion. We motored out of the port and to the open water. On our way to our destination, we spotted a mother and a baby whale that proceeded to put on a show for us. They surfaced several times and even did the whole jump out of the water and land making a big splash which I soon learned was called Breaching. It was easily the highlight of our excursions. Once we arrived to our spot we set anchor and jumped into the water. It was awesome!
There were a couple of problems on this excursion. First, we both got cooked. We put sunscreen on and everything, but we look like a couple of freshly boiled lobsters. The second problem was that due to the nature of the smallish sailing vessel, we were forced to interact with the other people on the trip (something we had largely managed to avoid on our other excursions). There were a couple of gay guys who were flaming! They didn’t want to steer the boat, swim or anything else. They only wanted to sit in the sun and drink their frou-frou drinks. There were a couple of ladies from Minnesota. They were nice enough but one of them just wouldn’t shut up. She didn’t have anything interesting to say and would often say the same thing over and over again. There was another couple on the boat with us and I have decided to reserve them a spot in my life boat. Not necessarily for anything they did or didn’t do, but based solely on the fact that she reminds me of my secretary. You see my secretary is very sweet and she has a really cool license plate. It reads, “T BLAAV”, which is an obvious reference to The Princess Bride. So I will rescue this couple in honor of her. As for everyone else on the sail boat, you might want to keep those fancy life jackets.
About a couple of weeks ago I ordered a special package for our stateroom that was supposed to provide a few different amenities including a silver picture frame and one 8X10 portrait, some chocolate covered strawberries and breakfast in bed, among other things. The problem is that I didn’t receive the entire package like it was intended. I will spare you the finer details and just say that after three trips to guest relations and several phone calls with various heads of departments, I finally got all of my vouchers. But as a result the entire guest relations team and housekeeping team are all booking a one way trip to the bottom of the ocean.
There was a pre-dinner show. It was called Pure Energy and was a rousing romp through the music of the 80’s. It featured songs by Cyndi Lauper, George Michaels and various other artists who are known by the current generation as pathetic, reality TV stars but at least at one point in their careers were known as musicians. There was also music from Culture Club, Flock of Seagulls, Duran Duran, as well as music from 80's movies: Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, Top Gun, Risky Business and The Breakfast Club. The dancers and singers were decked out in every neon colored article of clothing imaginable. It was a veritable blast from the past. It made me long for my jean jacket, pegged pants and high-top British Knights.
After dinner I was way too baked (and not the hippie kind of baked, but more like the potato kind of baked) to want to endure anything else so we went back to our room to watch a movie or read, but I ended up falling asleep in like 10 minutes and I don’t regret it a bit.